As I say often on this blog, I’m a lover of lists. I’m drawn to those silly quizzes in magazines that tell me who I am through answering a list of questions. I carry a small but attractive notebook in my purse for my lists.
I have a grocery list, a work list, a list of my list. At work I have legal pads bound on the top. Each day before closing up work and starting life, I make a list for the next day.
Lists make me feel effective and efficient. I can cross things off and feel accomplished.
I’ve been thinking about a lot of stuff lately. I’ve had time, at this lovely home in Boston holding a 2 week old baby and playing with a 3 year old little boy while listening to a 7 year old Scottish accented girl to think.
One of my thoughts is about this next season of life; the dawn of the second half of my life. See, in my 20s and 30s I was focused on preparing and starting. Seeing 40 just around the corner, I’m realizing that the starting has started and the movement to the end is approaching.
Oh sure, we don’t know when we’ll die. We aren’t able to predict what our life will bring. BUT if I follow the trajectory of statistics, I have about 40 years, give or take, left to live. 40 down, 40 to go.
It’s weird to sit in that thought for a quick moment–halfway through life.
My lists need to change, I think. Instead of marking off all the things I need to do, I need to begin marking people I need to be with. Instead of listing the tasks to accomplish, I need to write out the conversations to have.
Lists are neither good or bad. They just simple are.
Sometimes jumping out of the life I’m in and living in another person’s life for a bit awakes new thoughts, new ideas and most importantly highlights what needs to be removed and what needs to remain.