Bittersweet Days

I am having one of those bittersweet weeks so far.  Celebrating Desta’s first birthday was such a joy.  I am eternally grateful that we got our little girl at 5 months old. We’ve been able to share so many wonderful milestones with her.  As I see Tobin pour over his baby book lately, so excited to see himself crawl, walk, eat by himself for the first time, I am thrilled that we will have many of the same pictures for Desta.

BUT it’s been hard celebrating this day.  My thoughts continue to swarm back to Desta’s biological parents.  Matt and I have been interviewed for a few publications lately (those living in the Woodman area, we’ll be in the Woodman Edition this week) and he said so well what my heart is feeling.

From Matthew;

“I believe adoption is a calling into a very difficult battle with extreme poverty and injustice. As a Christian, I believe everyone who claims to follow Christ must be actively engaged in caring for what the Bible calls “orphans and widows.” Many Christian families fulfill this call through adoption.

About a year ago, Desta’s birth mother or father–we don’t know which–made a gut-wrenching decision. They chose to leave her outside a church in the hopes that she would be found and placed in a family that could care and love her like they would as biological parents. This process is violent–it rips apart a child’s first and primary sense of security and relationship. I leaves ragged and frayed parts in the souls of the parents. This was their “Adoption Plan.” And I thinking about it is incredibly sorrowful for me.

Bringing Desta into our family was a conscious choice to try and knit those “frayed and ragged” parts into our family. We’re white Americans. She’s a brown-skinned Ethiopian. I have no hair. She as a fabulous Afro. Desta only needs a mirror to know that we do not share a common biology.

Adoption is not for the faint-hearted, or for anyone that does not feel that calling and sense of purpose. Adoption is forever. Desta will always be my daughter. Adoption will always shape her for her lifetime. Considering that, the decision to adopt impacts Desta’s life forever.

You could say that Desta was rescued from her circumstances–and truthfully if we had been 1-2 weeks later she might not have survived the chicken pox while living in her orphanage. But don’t call her lucky. We are blessed to have her in our family–for all the good and all the challenges that raising a child of another ethnicity will bring to us–we are here. And, as Desta’s name means–we are filled with “joy.”