This is the last photo we received of Desta. It's about a week old, and receiving IV fluids.
Each morning this week I’ve woken up between 4 and 5 am. Today is no exception.
I am a twist of emotions right now. I don’t want to forget this morning!
My stomach is lurching. I am shaking when I think about boarding the plane today. We are actually heading to Ethiopia. I am sad already missing my kids here.
As I put Caroline to bed last night, she said, “Mommy, I am so excited to be a sister but I’m not sure I’m ready for our family to change.”
I hear you girl! I know I am ready for our family to change but that doesn’t make the change any easier to deal with. I know that we will get into a new groove soon. I know that we will all look back at this time of waiting and see the purpose for it all. Yet, I think it’s important to also tell the yang of the ying (or is it the ying of the yang?)
This journey to Desta has changed me. I cannot be the same. My faith has been tested and stretched to lengths I never thought it could go. My heart has grieved and yearned for a child and a mother that I have yet to meet. My body is tired as I’ve prepared mentally and physically for this child.
Oh Lord, you are my God; You have been a refuge for the poor, a refuge for the needy in his distress, a shelter from the storm and a shade from the heat.
On this mountain the Lord Almighty will prepare a feast of rich food for all peoples, a banquet of aged wine— the best of meats and the finest of wines.” (Is 25:4,6)
I am looking forward to the feast that God has prepared for us week. I am not saying that all will be golden from this point on. I am a human, failed being. But I look forward to the new journey of being mommy to three. I am going to enjoy the rich feast of going back to my homeland today. The rich feast of holding our daughter and pouring all this stored up love into her. I am going to savor the wine of this time.
And I will keep journaling and blogging about our journey, the good, the bad and the sometimes ugly (especially when this mommy has to start doing Desta’s hair…oh no…!)
I was born in Jos, Nigeria many years ago. I spent the next nineteen years living in Liberia, Kenya and Ethiopia.
My heart is so full for your family. I’m praying for you and will be anxiously awaiting every post, every picture, and every story from this journey. Thank you so much for sharing. You are blessing me! Congratulations!
You are probably flying high above the clouds as I type this message, but I want you to know that I spent most of last night in prayer for your family and the others who are traveling at this time. I couldn’t sleep well last night, so instead of sheep, I talked to the Shepherd. This journey is going to be amazing and I am so thankful that you are sharing it with us. I look forward to following your journey throughout this next week especially. You are in my prayers constantly!
Caroline, I couldn’t of summed up my own feelings of the last few weeks any better, “I am excited to be a mommy to more children, but I am not sure I’m ready for my family to change.” I just keep thinking how awesome my family is now, and that God only calls us to things that make our lives better, so what’s better than awesome? That’s what I keep asking God and what I can’t wait to find out!
Praying for the entire family through your travels and transition!
Gina R AWAA YG