When my family left Liberia and came back to the States in 88, I remember being SO overwhelmed by the injustice of the differences between here and there, so horrified by the callous consumerism that is the norm here. My heart was broken on so many fronts–I think I cried for three years straight, maybe four. Then, when I was fifteen, I stopped altogether–literally didn’t cry more than a few times until I was in my twenties. I went shopping and bought the same overpriced clothes everyone else was wearing, never mind that the money could feed masses of people, decided to just put Africa behind me and survive. There were times when someone would ask me questions about a certain time period and I would come up completely blank for a couple minutes, until I remembered that those were the years I had been in Liberia.

But over the last couple years my heart has begun to break again. (Really, it was never “not” broken–just hidden and ignored, considered too dangerous to deal with.) It’s a good thing–it’s a necessary thing–but you’re right–how do you reconcile all the injustice in the world, or even acknowledge it, without going out of your mind or becoming so miserable that you can’t function?

You CAN’T do much good if you’re too miserable to function, and you WON’T do much good if you’ve encased yourself in a protective shell of denial, choosing to ignore all the ugliness in the world. I don’t know, Melodie–but I’ll pray!

I’m so thankful that you write about these things. It’s nice to know I’m not the only person who struggles with these issues.

BTW, I’m buried in “stuff” too–maybe I should have a big craigslist garage sale and send the proceeds to Africa, or organize a “declutter-a-thon”–have people pledge a certain amount of money for every box or bag of stuff I get rid of, LOL! I do think consumerism is the drug of choice for many of us, providing recreation, pleasure, and distraction. The need for money to pay for our stuff keeps us stuck in comfortable, familiar ruts.

I’m not sure what to do about that either. :-/ But thanks for talking about these things.