Do you ever have those “I deserve” days? I have found them coming fast and furious at me lately.
Desta is still sick. Matt and I are going on our fifth night of little sleep. It makes life seem really challenging to handle. So I feel like I deserve all that caffeine I’m drinking and the chocolate I’m consuming. It is not good for my health (or my running) but I feel entitled to it.
I look around my house and frankly I’m tired of the 3o days of nothing that is now stretching into reality. It’s not a choice anymore and I feel like I deserve to have a choice. All my past thinking that living simply would be fun has gone out the window. I don’t like having to do something.
See, there it is again. It’s that selfishness that comes up from deep inside me. I feel entitled to something better (kind of like Mr. Tiger Woods huh?) And I so badly just want to go, buy something so I feel better. Which won’t make me feel better because stuff can’t change a feeling right?
Today I’m trying to push away the “I deserve” attitude that wants to take over my very being. And it’s really hard to do. Maybe tomorrow will be easier.
I was born in Jos, Nigeria many years ago. I spent the next nineteen years living in Liberia, Kenya and Ethiopia.
sorry desta is still sick. and yes… we all feel those “i deserve” days. push through it. you can do it!!!!