I woke up to snow yesterday. Not the pretty snow, but the blowing, Midwest (reminiscent of Wheaton days) cloudy stay in your home snow. With the flu in full force, I knew it was a day at home for us.
There is only so much internet to read and tv to watch before a person goes a bit batty. I attempted four miles on the treadmill, which took an hour, because Desta insists on rolling over but can’t get off her stomach. There in ensues loud screaming until someone puts her back to her rightful position (in her eyes!)
The tile was almost finished. When I’m stressed, I cling to order. Redoing a kitchen does not constitute order. Oh no, stuff EVERYWHERE.
Then the baby got cranky and inconsolable. Finally got her to sleep at 4 pm (after no sleep since 6 am that morning) and the older kids decided to play a wonderfully creative imaginative game called “How loud can you scare each other.” Oh yes they did. And oh yes, little Desta won that game! She was scared the loudest and we heard it from the heights of the ceiling!
I had enough. I needed a break. I love my children. I love my baby but I didn’t like anyone of them at that moment. I had enough. Bless Madison who took the kids, including cranky, overtired Desta, so Matt and I could go out with our friends.
After a glass of wine, great dinner conversation with friends, and winning trivia (go us!), I was ready to come home (good thing since I was up for most of the night with cranky baby). I realized that I needed that break. I cannot be a good mommy and a good wife without knowing my limits.
There are times that I need to leave my children in the loving, competent hands of caregivers and go out. No guilt attached. Because when I do, I come home and realize just how blessed I am with these beautiful children to love and care for!
I was born in Jos, Nigeria many years ago. I spent the next nineteen years living in Liberia, Kenya and Ethiopia.
So wise, Melodie. Great post–glad you got a break!
It’s funny because waking up today the snow is so beautiful. It’s the same snow, the same backyard, but it looks so different. I think that’s how I view my children. Some days they remind me of a Midwest snow storm and then suddenly they remind me of snowy paradise.
Glad you could get a break! I now understand what people mean when they say “I’m a better mother BECAUSE I work a little”
I always appreciate your honesty, because I myself had to come to grips withy my own limits–and they’re not much. It doesn’t take a lot to send me over the edge. I’m glad you got a break for a bit, and I hope Desta starts sleeping better. I got your sweet note and I’d love to try to schedule a get-together soon.