I was talking to my Dad today. He asked if I thought Desta recognized I was her mother. I don’t know.
If she was a toddler or young child, I probably would know more what she was thinking (well, maybe). It’s hard with an infant. When strangers are around, I’m the one she wants. She smiles across the room for me, recognizes my voice and “acts” like an infant daughter would.
But I have a feeling that I’m still in the “caregiver” status. She had a few nannies for four months. We’ve had her for just over 6 weeks. I tell her I love her, I tell her that she’s mine. How much does she take in, does she know?
I don’t know. I wish and hope she knows that I am more than a caregiver. I hope that she realizes that I am her mother. I’ve had several people tell me that it takes up to 18 months to really bond. Is that true with my infant child too?
Again, another part of the adoption world that remains a question. So for now, I’m writing my thoughts, reflections so that one day she will see the journey we have all taken to become a family.
PS Why is it near impossible to get three children to all smile at the camera at the same time? I guess maybe the movie playing in the background didn’t help for concentration purposes?
I was born in Jos, Nigeria many years ago. I spent the next nineteen years living in Liberia, Kenya and Ethiopia.
She knows you’re awesome! That’s all that really counts. But, I agree, not sure when I’m officially “Mom.” I’ll take the smiles and cuddles and love, though! If I change poopy diapers without complaining 24/7 then I KNOW I am Mom ;o) They’ll figure it out eventually…right?!
LOVE that photo! Kids…what a hoot!
I found your blog when looking to see if your husband had a blog. Matt had just “friended” me thru fb because we have about a zillion mutual friends and I’m a big advocate for orphans and ministries in Africa, especially in Swaziland. I lived there 2 years as a single gal and then traveled there last year with Tom Davis and CHC.
I’m enjoying reading your blog. Your style is very friendly and descriptive. Plus, I love the topics you cover. I’m a mom of 7 bio kids but am dreaming that one day God might increase our family thru adoption. We are seriously praying about moving to Swaziland when my husband retires in 4 years and I can’t help but think that in a country with SO many orphans that there will at least be 1 or 2 or more that are meant to be mine forever.
Praying for you and your family this afternoon as you continue on this journey.
Grace to you all,
Elysa Mac