This weekend was crazy busy celebrating our two older children’s birthdays. We combined their party (best idea ever!) and they had a wonderful time. But I’ve found with all the celebrating, my children are more emotional and irritable.
Our son has no problem telling us what he needs. He just asks for it and we happily compile, when acceptable. Our daughter, (who is like me), has needs but doesn’t voice them. They build and build until finally, the straw breaks and the dam is released. Then it takes some time to figure out exactly what the original issue is.
So, Caroline and I were talking through the tears this weekend and I realized, she’s going through what I’m going through. I’ve had to put aside me and focus on Desta (and the rest of my family). As we talked, I shared with her how my life has changed. No, I don’t have a brother who likes to tease me (and he’s pretty good at getting to her very quickly!), no, I don’t have to forgo getting three chapters read to me at night instead of just one because the baby needs a bottle. We highlighted the things that have changed in her life.
But then I shared with her what has changed in my life. I haven’t run longer than 20 minutes in the past month. And when I do run, I have a little person with me who often requires stops for toys, bottles and diaper changes. I don’t sleep like I used to. Instead, I’m up many times at night. I am home instead of being able to run around town with my two older kids. My life has changed too.
Change is not easy. I am thankful for Desta and the absolute JOY she has brought to our family BUT I don’t like everything that has come with it. I am a selfish person. There are times at night that I just want to shut off the monitor and go back to sleep. There are times I wish that Matt and I could just go out like we used to, hang out like we used to. Life before Desta had a very predictable pattern. We haven’t found that new one yet.
So sweetheart, Caroline, we accept the change in our life together. I’ll be there for you and we will find a new normal. Maybe not for several months but it will come!
I was born in Jos, Nigeria many years ago. I spent the next nineteen years living in Liberia, Kenya and Ethiopia.
Amen. That was the hardest thing for me and LeighAnna to accept as well. But instead of midnight feedings, Lydia was stealing toys so it was like having a baby and a little brother combined.
We’ve been trying to prepare Ashton for all that will change once our baby is home and I know that we are going to likely have some rough days. Your post is a great reminder to those of us following in your footsteps that we need to pay close attention to our other children as well.