I have struggled this week. My expectations were really high. I was convinced that by Friday, we’d have a picture of our baby girl, know who she was.
As a result, I turned into grouchy, icky, not so fun mommy. My temper was very short with the kids. Normally I don’t mind answering all my daughter’s many, many questions. This week, I was annoyed and curt.
By Friday, I was the definition of “the Grouch!” It wasn’t pretty.
When 4 pm rolled by and no call had come from our agency, I was beginning to plot my pity party. I was upset and beyond frustrated. So…I decided to clean and mow the lawn.
I had the sprinklers on for a patch of dead grass in the back. The kids were outside playing in teh sandbox. All of a sudden a thought struck me. “Melodie, run through the sprinklers. Just run and don’t care.”
So, I did. And the kids followed and we laughed. A LOT! They made a game of it. 40 minutes of water run on a Friday afternoon in the summer.
And I felt better. Nothing is in my control. I cannot determine when we will get the call. I cannot decide to get a court date before closure. I can’t
I was born in Jos, Nigeria many years ago. I spent the next nineteen years living in Liberia, Kenya and Ethiopia.
Melodie–
I know exactly what you are feeling!! Everyday people ask me, “Any news yet?” I know they care and want to be involved, but I’m starting to dread the question in fear I will snap back “Don’t you think I would tell you if I got the call???” I, like you, just want to see my daughter’s face. I want to know who she is so I can take this journey to the next level. I’m working on the nursery and feeling like I just can’t get it right until I see her face, know her name.
I am praying for you, the Burkes, Christina Antoniolli, Cassie Lane, and our children as we wait for THE CALL! I can’t wait until we can say to each other, “This is my daughter!”
Bless you,
Sue Prause