I hear that phrase at least once a day (when I go out that is!). They are talking about Desta. I know what they mean. They mean, isn’t it great that this orphan gets to have a family. They mean well.
But my innards get knotted and I fight to just say thanks.
See, I don’t like the word lucky. Luck has nothing to do with it. Blessed is the word I want to use. Destined. Ordained since the beginning of time. Those are the phrases I use. And yes, Desta is blessed but I feel blessed ten times more.
I’m blessed to have been picked as Desta’s mommy. I’m blessed to be the one who rocks her to sleep. I’m blessed to kiss her soft little head, murmur to her sweet little face that she is so LOVED by me. I am blessed to feed her good nutritious food, see her tummy round out. I’m blessed to hear her shrieks of laughter and see her bounce and squeal in delight. I am blessed to see her grow to be a woman who loves others. I am blessed to have her.
It’s just a word but I’m learning how just a word makes such a difference when you go from being a biologically fused family to an adoptive family. There are new words and new phrases and new understandings of all that vocabulary.
So today, we are both blessed. Desta and I. We were picked for each other!
I was born in Jos, Nigeria many years ago. I spent the next nineteen years living in Liberia, Kenya and Ethiopia.
You ARE very BLESSED! She is a beautiful and a very lucky baby – not to be adopted, but to have a wonderful mommy who is attune to her every need, physical AND emotional. thanks for sharing, I am loving seeing all of you new moms and dads and the journeys you are on, plus the learning process I know comes with that. Can’t wait!
this is one i don’t let slide. i always say “no, we’re the ones that are blessed.” i don’t like the word lucky, either, and i make sure the person who makes the comment to us leaves with our perspective. nothing about my children’s lives was “lucky’–what kid wants to lose their birth families?
I have begun reading your blog recently and have been so blessed by your openness and honesty. Thank you for the glimpse into your life and the adoption process. With all of the adoptions taking place at Vanguard, I desire to support the adoptive families and to be sensitive to their specific needs. You have helped me to understand some of that a little better. You truly are blessed, BOTH of you, and I can’t wait to see how the story of your family continues to unfold. What a beautiful story God is writing on your behalf, thanks for your willingness to share it with so many!
Good post – I’ve never like “lucky” either… I understand what others mean. even our Ethiopian friends say he is lucky… HE is, but you’re right – I don’t like “luck” – it connotes, coincidence or happenstance, and that is as far from our adoption stories as one could get. In the meantime, we can use these oppotunities to give others a glimpse into the miracle of adoption – for most who comment to us only mean the very best of intentions.