That mother instinct

I have not slept well the last several nights.  I’ve been running over the many, many lists in my head.  Things we’ll need for the flight, things we’ll need for the baby, gifts for the nannies, directions for my dear parents (bless them!!! for traveling from TX for 10 days to watch our kids…but that will be another post!), regular activities, etc.

My stomach is also revolting.  BIG TIME!  I’ve had a hard time getting any food to settle in my tummy.  So, I was up again last night, hearing my stomach roar!  Oh the joys and fun!

As I lay there, my heart and my mind went right to Desta (as it has many nights now).  I began to pray for her dear little stomach.  I prayed for protection over her body, protection for her transition home (where she is living), protection for her nannies.  I prayed for peace and rest.

It hit me that no matter where my children are, I have this driven God given instinct to pray and care for them.  That instinct is not born out of a biological process.  No, in fact, I have seen that instinct greater in this journey with Desta than with our other two kids (when they were infants).

This instinct plays itself out in this adoption through prayer, lots of prayer.  Since she cannot be in my arms right now, I have committed her to rest safetly in the palm of God’s hand.  I had a friend share with me that because her children were out of her control for 11 months of their lives on earth and more in utero… she has so little to worry about now with them under her wing.  She was forced to give them up to God long ago.  But then she said, “But that doesn’t mean I like letting them go.”

I am starting to get that.  But it still helps to have concrete information once in a while (and I’m hoping for an update on Desta’s weight and illness today.)