We cried

It’s around 5 am and the house is still, yes, even one little baby girl (who slept 4 hour stretches last night…thank you very much!).

I love this time in the morning.  Me, my computer, my coffee and my thoughts.

Yesterday was hard for me.  I realized that I have to learn how to be a mommy to a baby who doesn’t know what this mommy is about.  She cried for about 2 hours yesterday afternoon.  Everything I tried would not console her.  Big crocodile tears streaming from her eyes.  I prayed over her, I sang to her, I gave her milk, I rocked her.  I tried everything.  Nothing worked.

We are learning how to be mommy and baby, Desta and I.  It’s hard.  She had a whole language spoken with other people for the past 4 months.  She had a routine, a system and knew how to communicate exactly what she wanted.

I don’t have a clue.  So we are plodding through this part of the journey. It’s hard not being able to console my baby.  So I just cried with her. I cried for her mommy that she knew for 9 months while growing inside her. I cried for the nannies that she is no longer held by. I cried for her country that she has been taken from. We cried together.  We grieved together.

And then she was fine.  I guess we both needed that good cry yesterday!

PS   Desta was weighed yesterday at the doctor’s office.  11 lbs!  Yep, she gained 2 lbs in a week!