What's my calling?

I’ve been thinking for a while now about what my purpose in life is; my calling so to speak. 

The other day Caroline was discussing her student of the week presentation where a parent comes to share what they do.  She asked Matt to come as “Mommy doesn’t work.”  Matt quickly corrected her that Mommy does indeed work but just not outside the house! 

Did I pick to stay at home with our kids?  Yes, I did.  Matt and I made that choice together.  Do I regret that choice?  Most days, I don’t.  There are days, especially like last week, when I’d rather drop my kiddos off at day care, head to work and pretend that all that poop just doesn’t exist.   Would I go back to that life?  Not right now.

But, it’s hard living in my calling.  The routine gets to me.  With the extended 30 day Money Marathon happening, I don’t get out of the house. I start to feel sorry for myself.  I begin to doubt my choice to stay home. 

And deep down I know that I will look back on these days with a lot of memories and affection.  But it’s hard to do a thankless job.  There are many days where I don’t feel creative; all I want to do is park myself in front of the tv and just let it entertain for me. Other days I have all these great “kid craft” ideas that end in messes and fights. 

But then there are those rewarding days where I get a big hug and unexpected, “I love you Mama.”  Or a little person makes me a card or just wants to crawl in my lap.

Those are the days I have to hold on to when I doubt my calling, my purpose in life.  I’m not saying motherhood is my only purpose in life.  BUT it’s a big part of what I’m called to do now.  And like any calling, it’s hard, requires a lot of time, tears and work but in the end, so worth it.